


Good Enough

by AuthorForHire



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Deppression, Depression, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Worth Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 12:43:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11760138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthorForHire/pseuds/AuthorForHire
Summary: Xephos loves his boys, but is concerned they don't love him back.





	Good Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt.

Xephos didn’t always think he was a third wheel. In fact, he was more than ecstatic to bring Lalna on-board. The blond was a wonderful addition and the way he stared at Xephos like a spectacle was always nice, if not a little annoying.

It was only a little later when the loneliness settled in like a cold pit in the bottom of your stomach. 

Simon had gotten hold of the damn “poking stick” and Xephos was his first and seemingly only victim. Simon told him that it was only because he was more comfortable with Xeph. After all, they messed around all the time. 

The spaceman kept telling himself that as Simon hit him repeatedly. Eventually it got too much for him. He stood up to his full height with sharp blue eyes that glared at Simon and said, “I quit.”

‘Quitting’ didn’t last long, maybe two days of working for Sips before he came back. His family welcomed him back eith open arms and apologies, but the scars were still there and that night in their large bed Xephos found that he couldn’t sleep. Not even caccooned between the two people he loved the most. The voice in his head only recalled how these were the men who gave him the scars and hurt him so. 

The voice stayed with him for months. Always whispering, telling him that he needed to prove his worth to them. Telling him they would leave him if he didn’t. Sjin even told him that was how love worked. Give and take. He worked for Sips, and Sips gave him the love he wanted.

The pit in Xephos’ stomach grew. He threw himself at the factory. He stopped sleeping entirely and soon he stopped eating. He had to make sure Simon and Lalna were happy. He had to prove he was worth it.

Simon kept making half-joking remarks about how Xephos needed a vacation or at the very least take a lunch break. 

Lalna always looked at him with concern when he came to bed later than he did, having skipped dinner. Then Xephos was up before dawn working on God knows what, having not eaten breakfast. 

The voice was only growing louder and louder, telling him that he had to work. That they were keeping him around because he had no where else. 

He barely remembered Sips and Sjin joining their team. He just ordered them some miscellaneous jobs and kept working while Lalna and Simon disappeared somewhere. He saw the looks the two gave him, he felt the judgemental gazes.

The voice was deafening now, it blocked out all other noises. It was loud and thundering, yelling at him to keep working. To prove himself. To make them see how worthy he was of their love. 

Simon and Lalna were now begging him to just stop and slow down a second. He never listened. He was doing this for them, couldn’t they see that?

It was a warm sunny day when it finally came full circle. Xephos was like a walking corpse, skinny ribs poking out along his sides and dark bags gathering under his dull grey-blue eyes. His cheeks had stopped glowing, along with his eyes, and he was always pale.

Lalna was with him down in the Quarries when it happened. Xephos was fixing something while listening to Lalna talk about some machine he had made when he stopped. He felt lightheaded and his vision swam with every head turn. He placed his hand against the railing, trying to steady himself.

Lalna’s face came into view. “…Phos? Xephos! Are…kay?!”

His voice was fading in and out as the world spun around him he felt so disoriented. Where was he? What was he working on? He looked around wildly before his legs gave out and he vision blurred. He was blacking out. He remembered Lalna catching him before he fell, yelling upstairs. The rest faded out as he fainted, inky black taking over his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Simon gripped the ends of Lalna’s lab coat as they watched the ender mage inspect their friend. Lalna had to call Rythian to help Xephos, seeing as he was the only one qualified to be a doctor around them. 

The blonde was fiddling with the lens of his goggles as he watched Rythian worked. Seeing his friend, no, lover in their large bed looking as if he’d crumble away at any second was terrifying. He about had a heart attack when Xephos had collapsed in front of him. 

“Well?” Simon asked impatiently as Rythian sighed and stood up. 

The masked male looked at them coldly. “He passed out because of hunger. Is this how you treat your employees?” He asked Simon coldly.

Lalna felt his anger boil. “Fuck you!” He snarled. “We didn’t know it’d get like this!”

Simon pulled him back down to earth. “He’s been doing it to himself, asshole. He’s stopped coming to bed and stopped eating. He wouldn’t stop fucking working!” He hissed, his grip tightening. Lalna could see tears in his eyes, and the anger in his voice was directed more at himself than at Rythian.

Rythian’s eyes softened. “I’m sorry. That was rude of me.” He apologized as he looked back at the figure in bed. “It sounds like depression or anxiety. He’ll be fine with plenty of rest and a set eating schedule. Start with small portions and then work your way up to full meals.”

“Thanks, Rythian.” Lalna sighed, running his hand through his messy blond hair.. “Tell Zoey she can have the blaze rods.”

Rythian nodded and made his way to the door before stopping. “You need to talk with him. An intervention of sorts. Because until he gets help, it’ll only get worse.” The male said sternly before closing the door behind him.

Simon and Lalna looked at eachother intently before turning their gaze back on Xephos. He was sleeping soundly, the glow from his cheeks and eyes dim and almost non-existent. The two crawled into bed with them, wrapping their arms around him tightly as they stayed for a fitful sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xephos’ eyes opened slowly. He was shocked to find he wasn’t dead, to be honest.

He could tell that by outside, the sun had just gone down. Everything was cast in a warm glow from a torch on the nightstand. Simon was sitting beside the bed, reading something.

“Simon?” He asked, surprised by how weak his voice was.

The dwarf jumped before he turned around with a big smile. “Fucking hell, about time you woke up.” He said, reaching up on the bed to hug Xephos tightly. 

“I-I’m sorry.” Xephos said as the hug ended. Simon’s grin faded.

“What for?” He asked, sounding genuinely confused.

“I fell asleep! I should be working and I just fell-” Xephos rambled. Simon’s face fell into one of pure shock and horror.

“Woah, woah, woah! What?!” He cried. “Xephos, I don’t care about the factory! You didn’t fall asleep, you fucking passed out and scared the crap out of me and Lalna! Neither of us could wake you up, we thought you were going to die!”

Xephos winced at the sharp tone he was using. Tears were in Simon’s eyes as he finished. “Is…is that what this is about? The factory?”

It was a that moment Lalna walked through the door. He threw down his tools as he saw Xephos up in bed. “Xeph!” He cried, hugging Xephos.

Simon interrupted them. “Xephos, please don’t tell me you think all we care about is the factory.” He said, horror laced in his voice.

“Wait, what?” Lalna asked, releasing him in shock.

Xephos was silent, with tears in his eyes as he refused to look at either of them. Finally, he spoke with a shaky voice. “I-I thought that if I didn’t make myself useful, you would…” he trailed off, not finishing the thought.

The three sat in a heartwrenching silence. “Why, why would you think that?!” Simon asked, tears rolling down his face. “Xephos, we love you to the fucking moon and back!“

“Neither of us care about the workload!” Lalna cried. “We love you. We just want you to be happy!”

Xephos covered his face as he listened, tears leaking out of his eyes. The othet two crawled into bed to hug him tightly, constantly reassuring him that he was loved. The voice was silent, and all the blue-eyed man could hear was the soothing sounds of his boyfriends reassuring him that he was loved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Xephos! Come on, you coming?” Lalna called down. 

“Yeah, give me a second!” Xephos called,throwing the bag of chicken seeds into the chest before rushing up to Simon’s pent house. Simon and Lalna were already there and getting ready for bed. 

Simon grinned from the bed as he saw Xephos. “There you are! You know I can’t sleep without someone to spoon! And I can’t wrap my arms around Lalna.”

Lalna made an accused noise and scoff. Xephos smiled and laid his coat just slightly off the bed as he removed his shoes. “Of course, friend.” He smiled, climbing in with him so that his head was laying on Simon’s beard like a pillow. 

“Come on, Lal. You’re the last one.” The spaceman grinned. 

The scientist pulled off his goggles and labcoat before crawling in the bed as well, wrapping his arms around Xephos’ waist. 

“Night boys.” Simon yawned, pulling Lalna closer. “Solid day of work.”

“Right. The work me and Lal did.” Xephos replied with a roll of the eyes.

“Both of you shut up.” Lalna growled playfully at them. 

With that note and a few more giggles, Xephos felt his eyes drift shut as he was surrounded by warmth. He was loved. He didn’t have to prove s thing, and Xephos was perfectly fine with that.


End file.
